January was exactly as expected, 5000 days. I did pay attention to what gutted me and what revived me. The lows were increased by intense cold and storms. The freeze does exactly that, it freezes movement, adventure, and planning. A vicious circle for sure, you know you need to do things but stay in place like ice blocks connected to your feet. The highs went with the temperature, if I could get out to do something, I did. The hardest part is being okay with that. No sense beating yourself up over the things you can’t control. I guess staying alone with your thoughts, makes them magnified.

Doing indoor things are important, stacks of paper finally get the attention needed. Clearing out email accounts, apps and old photos, there was time for that. Emptying a space clears the mind too. Seemed to be a lot of time to dream or mourn loss of forgotten ones. Letting these go also is good for you as well. Learning about yourself while trapped indoors helps reset, but it does feel forced.

February is here, still winter and I hope it feels a lot shorter. I feel like I can plan my way through this one. Maybe that is why March is always a disappointment. It is the big tease, one day it’s winter another it’s spring. I do feel hope, which seems to abandon me during the dreaded January. February is the apology for all the neglect I have done in the previous month. I will hold on for the 49 days left of winter and come out the other side ready for all the good stuff!

Toilet innards seem appropriate for this post. Middle of January snuck by, thanks for that! We had the thaw, the deep plunge, two mixed weather systems, more light, and I am tired. I have been put to bed at 7:14 also up past eleven. I have been awake at 4:30 too many morning and dragging myself from slumber so hard, I could barely speak when finally out of bed. January is like Monday, everyday! Who has seasonal depression? One day I am stuck in the upside down from “Stranger things” and other days, I am surprised my clothes are not inside out. I have made six plans and not followed through on one!

Don’t get comfortable, things change. As much as we need to stay still when things are reeling they keep moving. When everything feels slow, they also seem so slow! It is hard to move forward at this pace and true hibernation sets in. Anybody that knows me, knows I disappear this month. I conserve energy to exist. I am better in the spring. It will become a joke about my absence by then. I am just a passenger this time of year, I can barely steer. I feel like I need permission to be happy. Fake it until you make it, is more my speed… with the greatest intentions of course.

I am frozen all the time, but hey I can slap on a smile and make a single goal for the day. I am good at making others a priority, while I figure myself out. I listened to Pink Floyd recently, I was so obsessed with them and Les Zepplinuǔ … I wrote this half asleep, I lost the point because I fell asleep, I woke up at 4:18, I went upstairs and went back to sleep, when I woke up it was an hour past my alarm, it was garbage day.. and these are my January days. Two more months and it will be spring, thank God! Let’s get through this…

Life is filled with memories, once a moment is gone it is a memory. You can bring them up and see your entire past. What are the snippets that break through all of the stories. Little commercial breaks that will come to you out of the blue? Mine are small moments, they can be sad or happy, always candid. My oldest’s first laugh, an echo of words from my dad, my middle eating dunkaroos while in labour, my youngest stomping through the house as a dinosaur. The past offers us a different time, things we can call upon to escape. Focusing on good moments to make the day a little brighter.

Personal history can haunt us just as it can enlighten us. It can stop you from trying new things. Little digs at the vision you are trying to create. This is a you thing, you know that! It is hard to replace the narrator in your head that reminds you of past failure. You have to rewire your reaction to this script. A friend was telling me that actually have people that will help train you to do this. Marathons to train the body and now marathons to train the mind.

Trace back your journey and focus on the good. That is the key! It is easy to get swept into a negative mindset. The world can seem full of negative sometimes. Make it a mission to seek out the good. If you can turn it around every time, you come ahead in the marathon. Reframe it, if a photo on the wall no longer gives you joy… replace it. Get a new frame or get a new photo, same with the negative. That’s something you can control, you will build resilience to overcome. Being consistent with your effort , brings gradual change!

Did you ever have it? A playful heart, peace, youthful enthusiasm, a deep desire to just be you? You don’t have to fit in the box the world provides you with. It is okay to draw outside the lines, it’s your box. Life is your design, you can create whatever you want. Even more important you can scrap the plan and start over. No rule saying you can’t, it may even be necessary. Do you ever give kids empty boxes and all the tools to create whatever they want? Some want paint, some want to cut it up and turn it into something else. Kids will use a whole roll of tape after using a whole stick of glue. They will also keep the structure of the box and only decorate the inside. That could be you, repurpose your life or change it completely.

Don’t just store the boxes, boxes within boxes, waiting for a chance to use them. Is your life a rainy day box? Are you waiting for an opportunity or constantly changing the state of your life. Don’t waste what is in front of you. Let things get messy, be impractical and different. We are all unique. You offer the world something, you may not even realize you have. A cube has eight sides, use them all, be multi dimensional not just practical. Let it be yours, you don’t need input or direction.

It is too easy to resist change and channel negative barriers. Inspiration often works better without thinking. This is your reward, let the momentum build. Distractions happen, you know that setbacks come and they also go. It is okay to pause but start again. Know your why, it helps with focus and leads to being productive . This might be the time to dig out your crayons, glue stick and a whole roll of tape!

We are two days in and it already feels like a week. I don’t want to hurry time in general, it goes by fast enough as it is. January though, it lasts forever when you are in it. We put so many things aside for the holidays and when they are over, we are only left with reality. Christmas creates a high with family visiting, sharing time and presents. It is calm when it is over, just leaving you with boredom, cold toes, your thoughts and for some, buyers remorse. Now add in plunging temperatures, darkness, storms and an illness, it consumes you. If you can ignore all that, Bravo!

I have already started breezing through a Netflix series, something breezy and light. I have a book on the go, I have cooked, cleaned and rested, now I feel trapped. The roads are not good, it is frigid out there! I’m sorry I don’t sound like much help! I try to plan things that I can look forward to. I am not real good in the moment, but I can fill a calendar with stuff that is coming up. Will it get cancelled because of weather? It surely has happened to me in the past. I try to keep a positive mindset. I crank on music, always a life saver for me. If the temperature offers a little relief in the plummet, I will bundle up and force myself outdoors. Cold just gets in there and stays.

Thrive in January to survive, sounds good on paper. Much like surviving any type of blues, do more of what feels good to come out the other side. With five hundred days in the month it will be a challenge. Look at the time as a way to acquire a new skill. Learn a language, try wood working, paint a room, recover a chair, master a few favourite dishes. Plan something for the following day that isn’t dependent on the weather, if all else fails you can sleep, I don’t recommend it though. Wasting the time only makes you wallow harder. Look at it as an opportunity to expand your mind or enhance your surroundings. Get cozy and push through, you got this.

8766 hours for you, how will you use them? Will you waste them? The first day of a new year to create or enhance your life. 525,500 minutes has started, have you done anything different? Did you scroll for two hours already? I was talking to my sister in law and asked for a picture of her tree, she said it was already down. I laughed, so is mine! The mess is still here, and without decorations, it is a mess. The definition of wasting time is different for everyone.

What do you value? Where should your time be invested? New skills? Clean house? Health? Everything? Don’t dwell on it too long, you will just get overwhelmed. Can you ignore the surface stuff and dig deep into yourself? See anything in there that you know needs to change? This is your first day to move towards all that is new! No you don’t need to write it down or say it aloud, just you knowing and acknowledging that you want something different can be enough. Of course progress does take action too.

52 weeks, this is week one, day one. Do something. Make some challenges for yourself. Put $2.74 in a jar everyday, 1000 dollars at the end of the year. Set a timer everyday for 30 minutes towards meal prep, exercise, purging stale spaces, skin care or an online skill, something will change. Thirty minutes everyday towards something, 182 hours of your year just for you. Personally I hate numbers, maybe because you can’t bend them, the visual is real. Numbers don’t lie, you can have your head in the clouds with the rainbows, but time is passing every second. 31536000 seconds in a year, get up and do it, don’t waste it!

Like I have said before, I don’t like to say good things out loud to put them into existence because it just feels like a jinx. I am a little old to believe in such garbly goop, but it is what it is. I also say, don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Thank God I do that as much as possible. Second half of vacay and there is a spiral down, with weather and health. Blah. I have ranted about it in my head and now I will take the forced reset. My beverages will be tea and I will roll into the new year in pajamas.

All visits are halted, and books will be my friends. Starting winter Netflix series early and missing summer already. I don’t know how I get blindsided by winter every year? I know it’s coming, I guess I just hope it sneaks by me and we get a shortcut to a better season. Don’t I wish! There is still good to find, I just feel super cranky. I am not the only one, there are so many sick right now, it is alarming. I am sorry if that has been your Christmas experience this year, it just isn’t fun! Try to choose some kind of joy and pick a new day for your New Years. You get to pick!

We have done Fakesgiving, Christmas a week late, month long birthdays or a weekend earlier, you do what you want. You are grown and make the rules! No deadlines, we talked about this before. Your time, your rules! Besides, vacation is no clocks, no calendars… so don’t look at them. If you want a beach, throw sand on the floor, get a towel and a heat dish and have a beach. Pitch a tent in the living room, a disco ball in the family room, put on a chef hat and an apron and find some joy. I am grasping people, help me out! See you next year, next week… my rules! 💜

I have been reflecting on the past year. Many of us do that as it comes to a close. I played the highlight reel over and over, deciding what was good and what was bad. Then I played it back just with the good, if you look for negative, you will find it. The good can be simple, there does not need to be fireworks. Much like the dreams of white pickett fences and Instagram worthy moments, life is real. It has heartbreak and sadness. Nobody has a perfect year and we need to be okay with that. You can arrange it like an art gallery, spotlighting just the moments that were good. To have both feet above the ground is a win, and recognizing that is just as important.

Be true to yourself, live an authentic life and always choose love and kindness. On paper it is a no brainer. While you declutter your stuff you must also declutter your mind. Wash away the sad bits and focus on the victories. Seemingly small victories are still victories. Losses happen always, but don’t live there. Plans and promises you make for yourself do not always work out, life changes as you age. One thing that does not change is time, it flies by and you should never waste it.

Go into your new year with an expectation for better. Let yourself grow in a new way, or bring back some of the old that really worked for you. Don’t live comparing to others, a lot of it is just a facade. Any gain is an achievement and strive for that. Overcoming, defeating not just achievement is just as important. Make yourself lighter by letting go of what weighs you down. The best days are still out there and your goal is to find them. Decide what adds value to your life, that is the priority. Give yourself less to do for once. Take happiness into the new year and enjoy anything that presents itself. Happy New Year!

I am not the same person I used to be, in a good way. I cry easier, happy tears are easy. I could spend a day dreaming and feel no loss. I don’t spend down time, down, I am always doing something. I crave family and people. I want activities and fun. You would think I just came out of a cave. It seems like I am making up for something I have lost. I may have decided to not decorate for Christmas, just for now. I started reading again and have a desire to just be. I keep putting pressure on myself to do all this stuff, but I don’t wanna. Zero shopping done, zero decorating, I spent too long sick this fall. Haven’t really looked at a calendar and I am so surprised by the date! Hello December.

I think I will make a treasure map. A slow journey to something better. No plan just a journey as it plays out. No lists, just day to day. I am removing all the pressure that I have created. My vision board this year will be a giant X in the middle with the treasure, and slow meaningful paths to get there. That actually makes me smile. Like wrapping up a chapter in a story. I am not going anywhere, just want to move through the journey. I am still doing stuff, but more purposeful with the intention to enjoy. I may have to create my own joy. I think about events but none of them lead to places I want to be.

I like this new version, me 2.0! It is about time! People often envision perfectionism, but it is unrealistic. Nothing happens as planned so just role with it. A plan sounds productive, I can’t tell you how often I have laid it all out and that isn’t how it rolls out. The greatest adventures, changes, progress just happen. If it doesn’t, it just isn’t the time and we need to accept that. We need to meet ourselves where we are and be okay with it! No more demands, just roll day by day. Enjoy the season, one day at a time following the giant bullseye in the middle!

You just need one thing to change somedays! I have a pack of people I talk to and each one went through February in November and all have moved past it, what is that about? We are not as alone as we think. Maybe we are just huge repotted plants at the change in the season. We have to acclimate to the weather, time changes and new conditions. We are no good until our roots dig in and begin to grow in a new environment. Nature knows better than we do!

Plants go dormant in the winter, they slow down. There is less light and more cold, they need to conserve their energy until spring. Maybe I am not a bear, but instead a plant. I wish I could sleep through winter, but I need to rest instead. Sometimes plants can appear dead in the winter, but they are just waiting for spring. They store carbs and wait, isn’t that a visual!

Perhaps it is time to change my perception of winter, I say this every year🙄! If we are forced to slow down in winter and we actually listen, then maybe winter is a good thing. Sounds good in theory. Ask me again in February with four feet of snow and forty below. Maybe I won’t react like a grouchy bear, look half dead with an extra fifteen pounds! I did better last year, time will tell!🧸